Ladies and gentlemen, it is a sad day for America. The news and major media corporations have been so focused on what’s happening in Syria [yeah, like that really matters] and people haven’t been paying attention to what’s been happening in their own country! I tried to go to Walmart earlier today, and to my surprise, I saw the workers protesting!
What? This isn’t the 1920’s – you can’t just suddenly start asking for the same basic human rights that hundreds of millions of workers have around the world. You work at Walmart, anyone can do your job – it’s easy. You stand around all day contributing little to nothing to society. In fact, you should be thankful that Walmart is even paying you minimum wage – you don’t deserve it.
I don’t care what your sappy back story is, or how many wrong decisions you made in your life to start working at Walmart – but face the facts, you are not a hard working American. Why can’t you strive to be a self made man like George W. Bush? Sure, he was the son of the President for a while, but that didn’t stop him from one day becoming President. He worked hard, every single day of his life, and had nothing handed to him – unlike you lazy Walmart employees.
If you’re a woman and you need someone to look up to, think of Kim Kardashian. Sure, she whore’d herself out all over the internet in order to make her seem relevant in pop culture, even though she’s genuinely untalented and the only reason anyone knows who she is, is because she is the daughter of an incredibly wealthy man. But hey, she worked hard every day of her life in order to put out that sex tape that would launch her hit reality TV series. Is it a good reality TV show? Of course not! But people watch it, and everyone is always talking about her so she must be successful.
Minimum wage is set at a rate that matches the cost of living, even though the cost of living is currently on the rise and minimum wage remains relatively constant. You don’t need to be able to pay your mortgage bills, or provide fancy food for your children. You’re children can eat fast food, it’s cheap – they don’t need that gourmet shit that grocery stores are selling. If McDonald’s was incredibly unhealthy for you, why would the government allow them to provide no health warnings on any of their food and constantly allow them to use professional athletes to market their food to children? The government wouldn’t do that – especially for any incredibly large sum of money.
Look Walmart employees, I’m not asking that you suck me off in the bathroom when I go into your store – but I want you to treat me better than you, because I am, and your company knows it. Your company treats you like shit for a reason – because they can get away with it.
Oh, you’re on strike so that your employer doesn’t get away with purposely opening and closing stores across the country and firing entire staffs because they want to make a union – something that almost every job profession has, even prostitutes?
The reason 21 Walmart employees were arrested is because protesting peacefully outside of your workplace is no way to behave – even though it is literally one of your Human Rights. Google it, bitch.
Epic Time Wasters 