Pastor Admits to Raping Underage Church Boys will NOT Serve Jail Time

We won’t make any pedophile jokes here – except that a pastor who has openly admitted to raping little boys has ‘gotten off’ (laugh goddamnit) and will not serve a jail sentence. The pastor claimed that he was raping them to remove ‘homosexual urges’ from their bodies and that when they would ejaculate, they would be releasing homosexual demons from their body.

Initially, Brent Girouex was supposed to serve 17 years in prison, however that sentence was changed to him just attending a sex offender seminar. He is the father of four children, but of course, the mother of those children is trying to deny him the right to see his children. After all, he raped over 30 underage boys and told them that their semen was demons. They will never feel comfortable ejaculating ever again.

I’m just going to end this by saying that of course engaging in homosexual activities will relieve your homosexual desires – in the same fucking way that eating a pound of bacon strips makes you not hungry. You’re not fighting demons – you’re just feeding your craving, which inevitably will come back. It’s not like you are going to eat food once, and you will never be hungry ever again.

People are idiots.

Like that one guy who thinks he scientifically proved homosexuality is immoral because he sat in a room playing with magnets. 

Hawaii Woman Upset her name won’t Fit on Driver’s License

Driver’s Licenses are designed to be small enough to be convenient to carry around in your pocket and/or handbag. Since they are small, they have a limitation as to how many letters they can fit on them because of the font style. The font needs to be consistent with all other driver’s licenses from that region otherwise it would be nearly impossible to spot a fake I.D. 

Well, for one Hawaiian woman she is furious that government officials have asked her to cut down her last name – and her license doesn’t even include her first or middle names. The woman with the incredibly long name refused to shorten it, as she believed it was disrespectful to her Hawaiian ancestry, and she isn’t going to change her name in honor of her dead husband. Let’s be serious here, no one is going to call this woman by her name, ever. I mean, Janice Lokelani Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele is a mouthful. I don’t even make an attempt to read that name – I look at the first letter and skip the rest. 

Man Arrseted for Domestic Violence TWICE after Threesome

Police received a call at 8AM after Terry Antone had become frustrated during a threesome with her girlfriend and  her cousin, because they kept excluding him from their sexual activities. Instead, they were just having an incest party.

Terry Antone, not thanking God for the opportunity to be apart of a threesome, became frustrated that he was being excluded – and he eventually started punching and dragging his girlfriend and her cousin. Basically, the threesome went south, Antone spent 12 hours in prison, and then was arrested almost immediately after being released because he went back to his house and started pounding on his girlfriend yet again. He went from having beautiful morning sex to getting railed in prison twice in 12 hours. What a day.

Hot Dog Vendor for Anti-Ketchup Opinion

There used to be a Hot Dog Vendor in Comerica Park that was famous for his constant singing and now, he’s famous for an entirely different reason. As it turns out, the Hot Dog Vendor was recently fired and it wasn’t over his obnoxious singing.

In fact, the vendor was fired for expressing anti-ketchup views. He would only put mustard on a hot dog (eww) and become frustrated and angry when fans would ask for ketchup. What type of Hot Dog Vendor doesn’t like ketchup?

What type of human being doesn’t like ketchup?

And who the hell even likes mustard anyway?

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

September 13, 2013 · 7:59 PM

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s